When your best just isn't enough
by qwaszxedc9
Summary: (ONGOING) ...that's when you lean onto others. Will be rated M in future. Heavy angst. Post-WinterCup. Appearance of MiraGen. MidoTaka-centric.
1. Prologue

**Yo! Qwaszxedc9 here! XD**

**My procrastination has reached a whole new level. My other stories haven't even been updated yet and I had gall to start another.**

**Sorry about that. This idea just wouldn't leave me and I was compelled to write it out. It's gonna be heavy angst, so be warned. (Sorry! I just love torturing our lovable carrot tsundere~)**

**Enjoy!**

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**When your best just isn't enough**

**...that's when you lean onto others. **

**Will be rated M in future. Heavy angst. Post-WinterCup. Appearance of MiraGen. MidoTaka-centric.**

**Prologue**

* * *

Midorima was walking home, after getting rid of Takao for the day because Cancers were last place and Scorpios were second last. Midorima didn't want anymore bad luck rubbing off from Takao.

It was just after training, late at night as the team had had a team dinner he couldn't use his three whims to get out of. Midorima clicked his tongue, making sure to keep his path in a straight line.

As he continued on his path - just another three more bends, two more junctions and a traffic light - he took a moment to squeeze his lucky orange rabbit.

Suddenly, he was grabbed from behind, and shoved into the darkness of the alley.

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**Reviews are like cookies.**

**They taste good,**

**feel good,**

**make you addicted to them**

**and encourage you to work faster.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Yo! Qwaszxedc9 here! XD**

**Sorry for the super long wait! Had lots of stuff going on and a writer's block!**

**Let's just assume that after the winter cup, the seniors are still in the club. (about to step down I guess? A few more weeks before having to study) I like the Shuutoku seniors. I want them here.**

**Midorima's whole family is overseas. (Including the mother, father, younger sister and anyone else. Maybe the father had a new job and brought everyone but Midorima over, because Midorima had exams or something) He's staying alone for now. (He's somewhat responsible enough, no?) This is the power of plot!**

**Beta-read by kuaispeed. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Love you! She helped with reading through my drafts and timelines when I first thought of this story too!**

**Edited as of 07/06/2015 with thanks to beta-reader kuaispeed.**

**ENJOY!**

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**When your best just isn't enough**

**Chapter 1**

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Next week

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_~Oha Asa Morning broadcast!~_

_..._

_At 5th place today, Scorpio! Your loved one seems to be having a difficult day! But no worries, just stay close by and shower them with love and affection to help them through this difficult time!_

_Today's lucky colour is purple! Today's lucky item is clothes hanger! Be sure to keep your lucky item and your lucky colour with you for maximum luck!_

_..._

_At 11th place today, Cancer! It seems that your luck won't be as good today! But don't worry, your special someone will protect you! Just be sure to pour your worries out to them!_

_Today's lucky colour is black! Today's lucky item is a suitcase! Be sure to keep your lucky item and your lucky colour with you for maximum luck!_

_..._

* * *

"Shin-chan~! Morning~!" Takao shouted from outside Midorima's house, dragging the rickshaw along with him. There was silence.

That... Was weird...

Shin-chan was never late leaving his house.

The door opened, and Midorima stepped out, closing the door behind him. He froze at the sight of Takao.

"T-Takao..." He croaked.

Takao pushed back all the bad feelings he had at that sound, and grinned widely.

"Shin-chan~ I'm gonna win this time-"

"Stay away from me." Midorima snapped, taking a step back, before looking away.

"Eh?" Takao blinked, taken aback. "S-Shin-chan?"

There was a pause, then Midorima lifted his hand, pushing up his glasses, hand unnoticeably (not to his hawk eyes) trembling, hiding his face.

"Ah-... O-Oha Asa said Scorpio is in last place. Therefore, you need to stay at least two meters away from me."

So it was Oha Asa, as Takao had suspected. But that didn't explain the not-really-unnoticeable trembling. Immediately, Midorima turned his heel and walked off briskly.

"Shin-chan! The rickshaw-"

"I will not require it for today. Stay away from me." He said, almost as if taking bigger and bigger strides to escape Takao. Takao lunged forward to grab Midorima's shoulders.

"Shin-chan-" Takao's hand brushed Midorima's shoulders, before being roughly flung backwards, slamming heavily into the ground.

"Don't touch me!" Midorima yelled, panting heavily. Takao squeezed his eyes shut, pushing out the pain he felt from being thrown onto the floor.

"O-ow... Shin-chan...?" Takao forced his eyes open, looking up into Midorima's wide eyes. "Are you alright?"

Something was wrong. That wasn't the usual Shin-chan. Shin-chan was their prissy princess Ace-sama. He got angry all the time. But it wasn't the anger that got Takao worried.

Midorima had his eyes wide, knuckles going white from tightly gripping onto the black suitcase that Takao hadn't noticed was there, panting softly, before clenching his teeth and turning on his heel, walking quickly to school, dragging the huge roller suitcase along.

No, it wasn't the anger.

It was the fear.

"Shin-chan...?"

* * *

Something wasn't right.

Takao trailed behind Shin-chan, keeping the ridiculous two metres distance between them. At the same time, he watched Midorima switch the grip of his suitcase between his hands, alternating between his left and right hands every few minutes.

It was too obvious. Something was freaking wrong. HE'S USING HIS LEFT HAND TO PULL THE SUITCASE FOR GOD'S SAKE! He never used his left hand for anything unnecessary. It was too precious. That's why Takao was always made to carry the heavy items.

Speaking of that left hand, IT WAS FREAKING TAPED BEYOND THE WRIST. THE WRIST! So was the RIGHT hand! Both hands were taped up tightly with posh white tape, all the way up the wrist and then some. That was WAY beyond that obsession he had before.

And his glasses; every few minutes he would use his free hand (Left or RIGHT) to push them up. Plus he would hold his hand there for a couple of tens of seconds before putting it down slowly. Not to mention he kept smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles on his uniform every few minutes.

AND his steps had taken a multiple-of-ten rhythm. Every ten steps he would pause then restart with his left, in a very VERY very straight line.

Waaaaay beyond obvious. There was deeeeefintely something wrong.

"Shin-chan~! You didn't reply any of my e-mails during the weekend!" Takao whined, swinging his arms around.

Midorima flinched slightly before taking a deep breath and marching decisively forward, continuing on his ridiculous walking pattern.

Takao sighed.

* * *

"Oi, Takao. What the hell is wrong with him?"

"Hmm...? Who?"

"Who else?! Him!" Classmate number one whispered harshly, jabbing a finger in the direction of the lucky item fortress.

As it turned out, the huge suitcase was only ONE lucky item; inside the suitcase was another 56 black lucky items of various shapes and sizes. All 57 lucky items had been arranged neatly in a two-layer square around Shin-chan's table, like some barrier to ward off bad luck.

Takao had jokingly dubbed it the Tower of Oha Asa.

"What the hell's wrong with him?!" Classmate number one continued, harshly stabbing his finger in the direction of the Tower of Oha Asa. Takao stared at the tower for a second, taking note of the precise 90 degree angles of the square barrier of lucky items, the neat arrangement of small lucky items in front and larger ones behind, and the additional barrier of tiny lucky items on the front of Midorima's table.

If anyone knew what was wrong, it certainly wasn't him. Channel tsundere-obsessed-with-lucky-items-and-Oha-Asa-Ace-sama wasn't broadcasting today, or even responding for that matter.

"Heheh... No idea~" Takao replied cheerily, turning back to look at classmate number one, shrugging his shoulders. Classmate number one allowed his hand to sag, bringing the other one up to scratch roughly at his head, frowning slightly. Takao then waved him off, standing up and spinning his chair around to stare at Shin-chan, careful not to knock over any lucky items.

"Shin-chan~" Takao sang, tone playful but eyes sharp. He gripped onto the back of his chair slightly. "What's up?"

There was no reply. Not even so much as a glare in his direction. Takao glanced at Midorima's table.

For the whole of this day's morning, Midorima had been diligently taking down notes, never once looking up for any sort of eye contact with anyone. It seemed that he wanted to stay within his tower of Oha Asa and isolate himself in all his haughty pride.

Takao saw otherwise.

The books on and under Midorima's table were not straight. They were slightly crooked, a corner sticking out, considerably messy for Midorima. There was a pencil sticking out of his pencil case (was that the lucky pencil?), and his pencil case was not zipped. His bag was slightly crumpled and his notebook still open after class.

His notebook had notes written in them, but the handwriting was slightly slanted, unlike the usual almost-printed handwriting. The diagrams within were drawn with crooked straight lines, evidence of a lack of use of a ruler.

Shin-chan not using a ruler? Obviously something was up. Although with Midorima and his prissy princess state, extracting information would be difficult.

"Shin-chan~ Don't ignore me~!" Takao whined, wiggling his arms around for added whiny effect. Shin-chan could never stomach his whi ning.

"Shin-chaaaaaaan~"

"Shiiiiiiiiin-chan~"

"Ace-sama~"

"Shin-cha-" There was suddenly a dark shadow gleaming across his face, a menacing aura beside him as he stiffened but continued staring at Midorima who didn't so much as twitch.

"Takao-kun, class has already started. Turn your chair around." The teacher said, smiling at him in a not-so-friendly way. Takao grinned back sheepishly, turning to face the teacher, stretching at the back of his neck.

In his defence, he hadn't noticed the teacher enter.

"Eheheh~" Takao glanced back at Midorima, who seemed very intent on ignoring everybody for today, and succeeding. The teacher watched him expectantly, eyebrow raised, glancing from the chair to the front of the classroom.

"Got it~" Takao flashed an even wider grin, before standing and spinning his chair around. Satisfied, the teacher turned and headed back to the front of the class.

Takao pushed his chair forward slightly, and sat down, at the same time glancing over to Shin-chan, catching him in the act of subtly looking up to glance at Takao, before flinching and jerking his gaze back down.

But of course, it wasn't subtle enough.

As the teacher continued to drone on about some atom or molecule or what not, Takao was frowning.

Shin-chan hadn't told him to shut up.

* * *

"Oi, Takao! What the hell's wrong with him?!"

Takao had a sudden sense of deja vu.

"Hmm...? Who?"

"Who else?! Your other half!" Miyaji-senpai shouted, jabbing a finger in the direction of their ace on the benches.

It seemed that Shin-chan had transported his Tower of Oha Asa over to basketball practice. And by that, it meant that he had willingly benched himself due to 'bad luck for Cancers today' using his three whims.

The lucky items were in circles surrounding him, both on the bench and on the floor, and a nice straight shield of lucky items in front of the Tower of Oha Asa, Midorima himself sitting rigid and upright of the bench, dressed smartly in his ugly, orange basketball uniform and sweater, hands on his lap.

Takao decided to re-name it the Fortress of Oha Asa.

Certainly befitting of its king.

"Eheh~ No idea!" Takao replied, grinning and spreading his hands out. Another vein pulsed on Miyaji's forehead, looking very much like he was going to burst a blood vessel.

"Ask him then!" He shouted, jabbing a finger in the direction of the Fortress of Oha Asa. Takao shrugged.

"I did, but he ignored me." Takao said, pouting slightly even as his eyes caught a tiny subtle flinch from their Ace-sama on the bench. Miyaji gritted his teeth, clenching his fist.

"Well, solve it already! Before I throw a pineapple at you two!" He yelled, swinging his clenched fist forward to emphasize, before stomping off in the direction of Kimura. Takao watched as he left.

Solve it, huh?

"Shin-chan~ Come on, let's go practise!" Takao called out, running toward Midorima and his Fortress of Oha Asa. There was no reply but he kind of expected that.

"Shin-chan-" Takao called again, taking a step across the barrier of lucky items, before he was roughly shoved away by Midorima, who had abruptly stood up. Takao hissed at the blunt force of the floor colliding with his back and elbows, eyes widened.

"I said to stay at least two meters away from me!" Midorima shouted, white taped fists suddenly clenching at his sides, before he suddenly winced and unclenched his fists, too fast for normal eyes but not for his hawk eyes. His grey eyes immediately zoomed onto the subtly trembling fists.

"Shin-chan, are your hands alright?" Takao asked, quickly pushing himself up to reach for the nearest hand. Before he could reach it, he was shoved back again, not as roughly as before, but prevented from crossing the line of lucky items.

"I am only unable to shoot as I have immense bad luck today." Midorima said quickly, pushing his glasses up. "You are not to contaminate me with further bad luck."

Midorima moved back to the middle of the Fortress, unzipping the black suitcase and scooping each lucky item carefully into the bag. Takao noticed at the back of his mind that the practice match that was supposed to be going on had gone quiet. There were no basketballs bouncing and even no footsteps. Just complete silence. But Takao was more focused on the fact that Midorima was packing up his Fortress.

"I will return home first. My time here today will be completely wasted and my bad luck might spread to others." Midorima stated calmly as he placed lucky item after lucky item into his suitcase. Takao was speechless.

"W-What?" Otsubo stuttered, dropping the basketball he was holding, each bounce echoing in the silent court. Their captain was the first to speak as everyone else was flabbergasted.

"Y-you never leave early from practice!" Miyaji exclaimed. "Who are you and what have you done with Midorima?"

Midorima just ignored them and continued placing everything within his suitcase, extending the handles and rolling the suitcase away, ignoring the calls and shouts from behind him as he strode away, as if running away. Takao just stared at him leaving.

"S-Shin-chan! Wait!" Takao shouted, running after him into the locker room. Once in the locker room, he watched as Midorima shut the door to his locker and began walking off.

"O-Oi! Shin-chan!" Midorima ignored the calls from Takao, rushing toward the school gates. Takao followed behind, waving his arms around.

"Shin-chan! What's going on? Why are you leaving early? You never leave early!" Takao hurriedly asked, receiving no answer as Midorima flagged down a taxi at the school gates. Takao's eyes widened. "And you're taking a taxi? Since when?"

"Since now. I will attend practice tomorrow so there are no worries. Oha Asa strongly advised against sports today. I have too much bad luck today." Midorima said as he got into the taxi.

"Wha…? Fine, fine, I'll see you tomorrow?" Takao asked as the taxi door slammed shut and drove away. Takao watched the taxi drive off, sighing as he returned to the gym. He had no idea how to explain Shin-chan's behaviour today. Maybe he should start listening to Oha Asa as well, since it seemed to predict their Ace-sama's moods for the day.

The broadcast is at 7am every day, right? Look like he has to start waking up early to listen to Oha Asa. Hopefully, he wouldn't get as crazy over it as Midorima.

* * *

As soon as Midorima got off the taxi, he rushed into his house. Locking every door and window, he clambered into his room, pulling out every lucky item he had and placing them in strategic corners of his room and bed and door, breathing heavily.

His room was unthinkably messy, lucky items scattered across the floor, tables and any other flat surfaces in his room. His homework, textbooks, pens, stationary and other random papers were strewed across his table.

Midorima ran into the toilet, ripping off the white tape from his hands and collapsing beside the toilet bowl, staring at them. There were angry, red scarring on both the front and back of his hands, pulsing and trembling, barely scabbed over, spelling out the same words over and over again.

D**IE** MO**N**ST**E**R

P**A**T**HE**TI**C**

He clenched his fists and his teeth, screwing his eyes shut. Throwing up his hands, he smashed them against the bathroom's tiled floor, ripping an animalistic growl from his throat. He did not stop until the wounds had reopened and there were countless drops of blood on the floor.

Standing up, he ran to the sink, frantically scrubbing his hands and palms with soap and water, the water rushing out of the tap and splashing out. The floor and his sweater were getting wet but he paid it no heed, applying soap then washing it off then reapplying soap then washing it off over and over and over again.

He was not satisfied yet, but the floor was soaked and his hands were throbbing. The tap was left turned on at full strength as he peeled off his wet sweater and jersey, tossing them to the side. There were bandages across his chest, stomach, back and thighs and Midorima ripped them off as well, uncaring of the pain of bandages rubbing against unhealed wounds.

Suddenly, he caught sight of himself in the bathroom mirror, eyes immediately drawn to the mirrored images of his front wounds. Even with mirror images, he could still read the words carved across the front of his body.

U**S**E**LESS**

M**ON**S**T**E**R**

P**A**T**HE**TI**C**

**D**IE

D**I**E

**DIE**

**DI**E

**DIE**-

Midorima slammed his fist into the mirror, ignoring the sprinkle of glass onto the floor and the shards embedded into his knuckles. His fist rested on the stop the mirror used to be, squeezing his eyes shut as he willed his memories away.

_"You see these scars?" The leader said, pulling down his sweatband, presenting straight, thin scars across his wrist. "They came from you."_

_"And this is my revenge."_

Midorima reached for the towel and wrapped it around himself, shifting to the corner away from the shattered glass, sinking onto the floor. His hands were still bleeding and the water from the tap was still running, but Midorima couldn't bring himself to move. He felt as if all the energy had drained out of his body at once. The skin across his chest and back were throbbing, wounds not reopened but stretched.

He pulled the towel tighter around himself, breathing heavily, squeezing his strangely dry eyes shut.

_"Suffer, you monster."_

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**The words carved on his body are in Kanji btw. Bcos even though this is in English, they're Japanese. Thank you kuaispeed, my great beta-reader, for pointing this out! I kinda didn't notice. It does make a significant difference now that I think about it.**

* * *

**Reviews are like cookies.**

**They taste good,**

**feel good,**

**make you addicted to them**

**and encourage you to work faster.**


End file.
